Morning Person

Morning person, I am not! Everyone who knows me understands that I hate getting out of bed in the morning -almost as much as I hate matching up socks or double dipping (ok, not as much as double dipping but alot.) It's not that I don't get out of bed, I will when I have to -but I don't like it, so I make sure anyone who has the nerve to talk to me before 11AM understands that and learns not to ever, EVER do it again! I can pretty much fall asleep anywhere, anytime -EXCEPT when I am in a bed before 3AM; so when I finally do fall asleep and stay that way, I do not particularly enjoy opening my eyes and leaving my comfortable warm cocoon. My body just does not cooperate with the whole morning concept....

BUT, my 10YO? He can wake up and climb out of bed inside of a minute and both before 7AM -on his own! I know -it's just not right!

So, at 8:30 on Saturday morning after I had been asleep for a a whole three hours, 10YO walks into my room. He was cleaning his hamster's cage and was holding a cardboard toilet paper roll. He walks over to my side of the bed.

10YO: "Mom?" he says and points to the leftover glue marks on the cardboard roll, "can this hurt my hamster if I put it in her cage and she eats it?"

Me: I open one eye, roll over, and then wonder how much effort it would take to launch a pillow at his head "Huh? What? No Alex, it's fine."

Then, he actually approaches my side of the bed!

10YO: "But what if she chews it or licks it or...." he holds the roll in front of my face just in case I have never seen one in real life before...

Me: Irritated, I sit up, grab the toilet paper roll out of his hands, and lick it -from top to bottom- then hand it back to him. "No Alex, see? It's fine!" I lay back down and pull the covers up to my chin.

10YO: As he's walking towards the door, he looks down at the cardboard in his hand with a look of hesitant satisfaction and turns towards me and says, "Um Mom, just to tell you..... I couldn't find an empty toilet paper roll," -then a pause for dramatic effect- "so I had to dig this one out of the trash can....."

Me: "Which trash can?" (as if it really mattered)

Guess which trash can. Either the kitchen trash can with all of the used hamster shavings or the bathroom can with everything else?

Yep, the bathroom trash can..... the one where the booger filled tissues, used Q-Tips, used dental floss, and band-aids stained with dried body fluids end up at the end of the day.....

NY and 10YO had a laugh, they thought it was just hilarious.

NY: "ha ha ha, that's perfect..... you're freaked out by double dipping and you just licked that.... hahaha.."

I let them have their laugh, but what they're not thinking about is how I am the cleaner of the bathroom which also makes me the keeper of the toothbrushes, their toothbrushes..... And let's just say that I have not always been exactly trustworthy when it comes to other peoples brushes.