Wasted time?

Its 9PM, the boys are sound asleep and here I sit at my computer….. I just wrote a note to 10YO in his “after school instruction notebook.” This is the notebook I leave sitting at the front door outlining the responsibilities he must take care of before I get home from work. Usually it reads something like:

Dear 10YO,
I hope your day was a good one! Fix yourself a snack and get started on your homework. When your homework is done make sure you
1-take the trash out
2- empty the dishwasher
3-dirty dishes into washer
4-make sure your room is straightened up
Remember, soccer tonight! Be dressed and ready to go when I get home in 45 minutes!
Love you tons,
Mom
REMEMBER!!!! NO TV OR Wii!!!!

I had a visit with a dear friend this afternoon and here is the letter I just composed:

Dear 10YO,
I hope you had a good day! Fix a snack and don’t start on your homework before I get home. Sit and do nothing if you want….stare at the ceiling even but enjoy it whatever you choose! If you would rather read –go ahead…. Whatever you want to do. I will figure out your chores when I get home, until then enjoy the time to yourself. Do what you want –just veg out and relax, we will take care of all the boring stuff later.
I set out your soccer stuff if you want to change before I get home.
I love you ,
Mom

While venting to my friend about how I got home from work yesterday and 10YO's homework and chores were not done. I was about to begin a rant when she stopped dead in her tracks and exclaimed “WHAT?! HOW HORRIBLE! Oh my gosh HE’S a KID! Let him zone out –let him do absolutely nothing –stare at the ceiling if he wants but he needs to unwind after school!”

I took a step back and tried to register whether the problem was that he did -or did not do the chores…. She was talking so fast and so loud- I had a hard time comprehending her words. Finally it started to register…. I was being insensitive to my childs natural tendencies! She went on to say how she was a big believer in kids needing time after school to relax. She explained how after being told what to do all day he should be allowed to come home and relax before starting into the rigors of responsibilities….. Needless to say, after about five minutes I was shocked at myself for being so insensitive to his needs as a child. That’s right... he is after all –A CHILD! He is a good one at that. He knows responsibility; he works hard, and obeys….. He is not an unruly –out of control spoiled brat. My extremely wise friend suggested I make a new rule –no homework or chores until I get home.

It was extremely difficult to “let go” of him being productive and accomplishing tasks all day. However, as soon as her words resonated, it was simple to see the situation through her eyes and say to myself “Oh my gosh –she’s so right.”

It’s a precious thing when you are connected to someone in such a way that they say exactly what you need to hear when you need to hear it….. and they don’t even mean to.

All grown up...

Okay, not really -but look!!

Oh yeah, they are home -safe and sound. I will post something from their homecoming last week -I am behind, it's been a whirlwind around here!

The Bird's Nest

I tried it..... it's not as easy as it looks

-or I just lack the grace and discipline to pull off such a pose

Mr. BrightSide

It has been 28 days since I hugged my boys good-bye and watched as the person I trust the least with their physical and emotional well being, drove away with them in the backseat. Twenty eight days they have been away and 16 until they return!

Whoa, wait....only 16 more days of having NY all to myself?

I was looking ahead to the boys' return and was shocked when I realized that we are past the half way mark. Now that we are in the home stretch, I felt a twinge of consternation -just a twinge..... less than a bit but more than none at all!

It's just that my time alone with NY is normally pretty rare. Because of location, I only get him on the weekends to begin with and we have either 4 boys or 2 -but never zero! And even though we get a babysitter for my kids, one dinner every other week is scant... cherished yet scant. Gone are the days of dropping off the boys to my parents for a night or two and escaping for a long weekend full of belly laughs and this smile.....

(I love that smile, and the laugh? Even more!)

So I guess what I am saying is that even though I miss and worry about my boys, I absolutely love the time that NY and I have alone together.

No play dates, baseball practice, or birthday parties to interrupt our Sunday mornings. We have the freedom to decide at 11pm that we should venture out in search of an open restaurant knowing that we won't find one but sure we will have fun cruising around none the less. We can go to a nice restaurant, share wine, and have an uninterrupted conversation without worrying about the time and having to get the babysitter home. We can make inappropriate jokes without hesitation or consideration for little ears -but for the record, that is NY's territory.... We can work on the house for 12 hours without a fight breaking out in the living room or the kitchen catching on fire because of the rugrats scavenging for food.

The last 28 days we have been:

a little absurd

maybe sentimental

(okay, maybe not -we're too busy laughing)

a tad PMS-ish -that's typically my territory...except when NY is paddling, he gets a tad moody as well :)

(and I must say, even when I am crazy hormonal and emotional, NY can talk me down -or at least gets me to crack a smile)

playful

full of laughs

spontaneous

and sometimes, just plain stupid.....

(alright, alright -alot of plain stupidity.....that's our specialty ok?)

we have been all these things together -ALONE! and it has been delightful.

If the boys have to spend 45 days in OH, I can't imagine a better way to spend my time while awaiting their return!

Although I'm looking forward to summer coming to a close, I think I am okay with a little loitering along the way!

sigh....

Buzzing

My 6YO is one of those kids who does not seem physically afraid of anything. He is not one of those kids who shrieks and pulls away when an over anxious dog rushes him and he won't jump away when a snake slithers out of the brush. No, he is one of those kids who seems to think fear is a weakness so even if he was afraid, he would never show it.....

Except when it comes to BEES! As soon as he hears the "buzzzzz" he freaks. A giant boa constrictor? Bring it on!! But a tiny fuzzy bee? No place is safe!

He is terrified of bees. I think it goes back to when he was 18 months old and he was stung by two bees, one after the other. The first right smack dab in the middle of his forehead and the other on his temple. I remember that day. We were at 10YO's soccer game and the fields were swarming with bumble bees. When he got stung, he cried and I watched as his forehead and temple swelled to the size of a walnut and then I did what any mother would do... I took pictures, yep that's right, I took a few shots before I put the camera down to comfort him.

And that was the beginning of a phobia.... My baby got stung by two huge bumble bees and I took pictures of his wounds. How sick is that?

Anyway, he just hasn't been the same since... Poor kid.

But despite his fear of bees and my cold hearted reaction to this (very legitamate) fear of his -he still manages to fake a smile for me!

Oh how I miss that smile!

I think when they get home from thier dad's I will put the camera away for awhile -ok, maybe just a day or two. Experiances like that are character builders, right?

Days until the next character building opportunity:

20!

Flashback...

Background: After 23 days and attempting to lessen the feelings of loss that seem to be growing with each passing day, I decided to distract myself with photos. I have hundreds of photos stored various places documenting the numerous activities that took place the weeks prior to the boys departing. So, I will post some of my favorites...

Find what's unusual with this photo....

It's not blatantly obvious.

Hint: Look at the shot below.....

(The 2nd baseman in the bright blue jersey is my 10YO )

Now look at #1 one again.....

Okay, give up? Here is a clue.

10YO and I nicknamed the kid in photo #1 "gigantor" or "humongousaurus" Does that help?

Let's be clear though, we speak at of the utmost respect, we are not making fun of this boy -who happens to be an INCREDIBLE baseball player by the way.

Actually, my boy and I are kind of envious. See, I am 5'2 and my ex maybe 5'9.... so 10YO is destined to be little.

Ahh well, that's it for my evening photo reflection from a June baseball game.... I had to laugh when I came across the photo and thought I would share.

Please don't think less of me.

22 days!

Silence

24 Days and Counting